A Detailed Exploration of Idiocy
by Methoaska
Summary: Jun and Ayana are asked by Hitsugi to obtain a rare crystal hidden in a faraway underground cave. Jun is happy to get out for a while, but Ayana's just mad. Thankfully, Hayate and several other friends come along to help them out, and Ayana begins to discover what everyone means when they talk about a real family.
1. Chapter 1

Ayana grumbled as an all too familiar voice sounded from the hallway outside her door.

"Ayana! Hi!"

Not caring to reply to or acknowledge Hayate, Ayana simply continued playing Super Mario Bros. while her insistent shinyuu burst through the door to her room.

"Hey!" Hayate shouted, jumping up and down like a rabbit on a sugar high. "You didn't even answer me!" She gasped. "You aren't feeling depressed or anything, are you? You should stop staring at that screen and play with me for a bit to ease your teenage angst!"

Shaking her head, Ayana tried desperately to concentrate on the video game. She'd played this stage before, and she knew the secret for beating Bowser's son. _Jump when he lands, then leap onto his head, _she thought, gritting her teeth. Normally this would have been easy, but nothing was easy when Hayate was leaning over her.

Pouting, Hayate slowly made her way over to the bottom bunk and flopped down onto it. "Jeez," she mumbled. "The least you could do is act like I exist…"

"Okay!" Ayana shouted angrily. "You DO exist! And you're annoying the hell out of me! Go play with Jun or Shoshi or whatever!"

"Me? I've been here the whole time." A head appeared from the edge of the top bunk, startling Ayana and nearly causing her to drop her controller.

Turning back to the TV, Ayana now found it even harder to concentrate. "Sure! Now you two can both leave me alone to finish my game!"

Without warning, Jun leapt out of the top bunk, narrowly avoiding whacking her head on the ceiling. Landing neatly, she made a grab for Ayana's controller. Accustomed to such poorly planned attempts, Ayana leaned out of the way and elbowed her friend in the head. "Quit it!"

Leaning back, Jun sighed, shaking her head and tsking as she folded her arms. "Oh, Ayana… so absorbed in your video game world, when there's so much to explore!"

Nodding in agreement, Hayate clenched her fists in excitement. "Yeah! Like the woods behind the school!"

Jun shrugged. "I was gonna say the bathhouses, but that works."

"Oi," Ayana muttered, straining to pay attention to her game. She should have been done with this by now, but the constant outbursts from her shinyuu and roommate had caused her to miss the bad guy. Now all of her power ups had been spent, and she was forced to complete the level as standard Mario. _Dammit, _she thought.

"Or," Jun added, grinning mischievously, "you could explore my body, Ayana."

Not quite grasping the full implications of the statement, Hayate jumped off of the bottom bunk. "Ooh! Explore mine too, Ayana!"

Blushing happily, Jun grabbed Hayate's wrist and thrust their arms into the air. "We can give her the grand tour, Hayate-chan! A two-for-one deal!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Hayate replied excitedly, dancing around for no real reason other than her inexhaustible energy. "Just like at McDonnalds!"

"It'd be a happy meal, all right!"

"Or, even better, a mighty kids meal!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The door swung open with a bang, and Ayana keeled over, completely spent. _I can't take any more idiots, _she thought, falling over onto her side and watching half-consciously as Mario promptly died on the screen.

Having just entered the room, Miyamoto Shizuku observed the scene before her, and sighed. She could never be sure if it was nature or Hitsugi's brand of nurture that caused students to behave in this way. Probably a mix of both.

"Kuga-san, Mudou-san. The kaicho needs you for something."

Looking up at the esteemed S-ranker, Ayana and Jun nodded, ceasing their craziness for the moment and following Shizuku into the hallway while Hayate stared after them longingly.

"Aw!" she called after them. "Say hi to Shisho and Inorin for me if you see them!"

Smiling like she always did at her kouhai, Jun craned her neck and shouted back. "Will do, Hayate-chan. Hold down the fort while we're gone!"

Saluting, Hayate searched around the room for something to brandish. Realizing she had her sword on her, she grinned. "None shall pass!"

Even Ayana had to smile. Even if Jun and Kuro were complete dunderheads, they cared for each other and for other people, and it really showed. They were family, and Ayana secretly hoped that she was part of their family too.

"Oh!" Jun called. "Hayate-chan, Ayana's panties are in the second drawer down!"

All the ideas of being a soldier and protecting the dorms flew out the window as Hayate rushed back into the room, shouting "Thanks!" as she shut the door behind her. Gritting her teeth, Ayana resisted the urge to clock Jun. After all, the Kaicho's shinyuu was present, and they had been called to do work.


	2. Chapter 2

When they entered the Kaicho's large office, Ayana and Jun found the student council president sitting at her large desk sipping a cup of tea and glancing every now and then at a paper she had in her hand. Looking up, she saw that Shizuku had arrived with Kuga-san and Mudou-san.

"Well!" she said, smiling and clasping her hands together, setting the tea and papers aside. "Thank you for coming. I have some very important matters to discuss."

Glancing at Jun, Ayana took a deep breath. Conversations with the Kaicho were becoming progressively more difficult as the school years went by, mostly because the woman just seemed to be more and more completely off her rocker every time they had the opportunity to speak. Not that Ayana ever really spoke to her by choice.

Not waiting for a reply, Hitsugi closed her eyes. "I am entrusting you two girls with an incredible mission. One so entirely crazy and possibly futile that I have no idea how I'm even able to force it upon you." She opened her eyes once more, and little lights seemed to dance across them. "But I know that you three can conquer whatever obstacle I put in front of-" she blinked, realizing for the first time that she was only speaking to two people. "Shizuku," she said.

Stepping forward, Shizuku replied. "Yes?"

"Where is Kurogane-san?" Hitsugi asked, cocking her head. "Did I not ask for her as well?"

Shizuku shook her head, smiling a little. "Um… I don't believe you did, Hitsugi-san."

_Great, _Ayana groaned inwardly. _Not only do I have to go on some crazy journey, I have to do it with _both _of the biggest blockheads in the academy._

Hitsugi laughed. "I suppose I was caught up in the planning of it all. It isn't often that such a great idea pops into my head while I'm searching Wikipedia!"

Feeling faint, Ayana felt around for a wall to lean on, but found only Jun, who stiffened a little in surprise. "Sorry," Ayana grumbled, grasping her friend's arm for a second to steady herself, then standing up straight once more. "It's a little much to take in."

"I hear you," Jun whispered, looking on warily as Shizuku left to get Hayate from their dorm. "But I wasn't complaining." She smiled, and Ayana rolled her eyes.

"While Shizuku's doing that," Hitsugi said rather loudly, "I'll take the opportunity to give you a brief overview of your mission." Her brow furrowed as she closed her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her.

Ayana frowned. "Uh… what are you doing, miss?"

Shaking her head, Hitsugi mumbled. "I'm trying to create an atmosphere of mystery and adventure. Now, hold still. Mmmmm…. THERE!"

As if they were standing on the set of a movie, Ayana and Jun began to feel strangely uncertain as a sort of cloudiness seemed to gather around them. Everything looked fine, but the mood in the room had just changed drastically.

"Now!" Hitsugi said in her booming voice, eyes flashing open and catching the light from the windows for a split second. "You three have been given a most dangerous mission- to acquire and protect the Amachi Crystal! It is a very important family heirloom, buried many years ago by my great grandfather. We have just been alerted to its location, but there must be someone to retrieve it!"

Jun blinked, almost afraid to meet Hitsugi's eyes. "Ah…" she laughed nervously. "Great! And where might this crystal be?"

Extending her arm outward for emphasis, Hitsugi sighed. "Beyond the mountain and its woods, and beyond the jungles and beaches…

Ayana raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Beaches?"

"Don't interrupt!" Hitsugi warned, turning to look her full in the eyes. "You'll need all of the information you can get to survive this life-threatening quest."

"Wait, life-threatening?" Ayana cried. "Just because we attend this school doesn't mean you can make us do whatever you…" She trailed off, realizing that precedent happenings dictated that yes, Hitsugi could. Groaning, she sucked it up and prepared to endure the rest of the Kaicho's briefing.

"As I was saying," Hitsugi continued, "this is a very dangerous quest. I will provide proper supplies to the best of my ability, but even _I _cannot predict everything that may or may not happen on your journey. The trek itself should only take about two weeks, but it will be a grueling workout." She smiled. "Still, I expect that you three will shine with brilliance as you always have!"

The door opened unexpectedly, which was good, because Ayana had been about to swear under her breath. Shizuku walked in with the pink-haired pixie Hayate, who was practically convulsing with excitement.

"Hey!" she called happily, running over and standing next to Ayana, who was over a head taller than her. "I get to go with you guys! Isn't that awesome? We can camp out together and sing songs and share a sleeping bag!"

"You don't even know what we're doing, nitwit," Ayana grumbled, shoving her a little. "And you can forget about the sleeping bag."

"Aw…" Hayate pouted, slouching and standing silently next to her shinyuu. "Ayana's no fun…"

Seeing that no one was listening, Hitsugi felt that a greater incentive to do so would be required. The blonde-haired may have been just a high schooler, but she had many, many resources at her disposal. Grinning, she pressed a button on the underside of her desk. "Cue Donna," she whispered.

Without warning, a platform rose up out of the floor, bringing a large bull with a star on its head into view. Caught completely off guard, Ayana, Jun, and Hayate ceased their chatter and simply stared confusedly at the bull, who seemed just as confused.

"Do I have your attention?" Hitsugi asked. Without waiting for a reply from her dumbfounded students, she went on with the last bit of her explanation. "You may bring friends if you wish, but I'll need to know by tonight if you wish to do so, or there won't be enough supplies. You will leave as soon as everything has been organized. Dismissed!"

Eager to leave the room, the three girls rushed out, sighing as the large doors closed behind them.

"Okay," Jun laughed, wiping her brow. "No need to panic… we're just going to have to deal with each other for a few weeks while we risk our lives for some crystal…"

Doing the same, Ayana scowled and gave the thumbs down that was characteristic of Yuho. "Perfect."


End file.
